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etirabys:

argumate:

etirabys:

guy who invented the piano: what if we laid a harp on its side and added hammers

musician: you clumsy oaf, you just knocked over my harp with your toolbox!

guy who’s about to invent the piano: oh, haven’t you heard?

how dare you take this mediocre shitpost and make it genuinely funny

sodomymcscurvylegs:

skrewsociety:

Pull me into a bathroom at a party and tell me how bad you want me. Then fuck me.

Me, outside the bathroom waiting for these two to stop fucking so I can pee:

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frie-nds:

“Look, I studied ka-ra-tay for a long time, and there’s a concept you should really be familiar with. It’s what the Japanese call Unagi. (…) Unagi is a state of total awareness. Okay? Only by achieving true Unagi can you be prepared for any danger that may befall you!

latinxcelebs:
“YALITZA APARICIO
24th annual Critics’ Choice Awards // January 13, 2019.
”

latinxcelebs:

YALITZA APARICIO
24th annual Critics’ Choice Awards // January 13, 2019.

jeepsarmitage:
“ doomy:
“ occupy-democrats:
“ mstar1960:
“ occupy-democrats:
“Imagine wanting to spend billions on something so easily circumvented.
”
I guess lefties think that illegal aliens can walk on water.
”
Wow, you’re right. There’s a huge...

jeepsarmitage:

doomy:

occupy-democrats:

mstar1960:

occupy-democrats:

Imagine wanting to spend billions on something so easily circumvented.

I guess lefties think that illegal aliens can walk on water.

Wow, you’re right. There’s a huge flaw in my post, I forgot that humans have no way to get across water. Thanks for pointing that out, I’ll get right on deleting this.

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just-shower-thoughts:

The night sky must have been beautiful in the middle ages